CONFESSING MY LOVE
CONFESSING MY LOVE is an Equals Three episode released on Monday, August 29th 2011. The episode's title is Ray's improvised title for the third video. Script Opening Titles Alright, so today we're going to start off with something really simple but really kind of cool. This is a mexican standoff between a cat and a dog. So they're staring each other down, right? I mean looking at each other for like five minutes like: "Make a move then, bitch!" So I watch them staring each other and I'm like "You guys just need to get it fucking over with cause I'm bored watching this" , but then near the end of the video like the dog moves in for the attack. :plays I do feel sorry for that dog though. I mean it looks like he just want's play. "Hey, my name is Tony, what's your name? Do you play Xbox? Oh Jesus!" Now that video got about four hundred views in just a few days, it's great, it's funny, it's hilarious and shit, I don't want to spend that much time on it cause I wanna spend more time on the last video, so yeah let's do that Cool Transition thing. Anytime. Anytime you wanna... Brandon - who is my editor - you're an asshole. Cool Transition Thank you. Now after this past weekend I think we can all agree that hurricane Irene is a bitch. And you know what Lil' Wayne says to do about bitches? Fuck 'em. Anyway this is a live news report during hurricane Irene. I want you to pay attention to the guys who were running in the background. :plays Ok now I'm no weather expert , I majored in History and know nothing about weather but why in the hell is this guy whipping out his dick in the middle of a hurricane like it's a fucking barometer? Here's a serious question: if you see a guy's boner during a hurricane, does that mean six more weeks of winter or six more weeks of summer? Cause if it's six more weeks of winter that means you don't want to run outside naked cause everyone watching the news is going to say the exact same thing: :continues Man, you can't hate on a guy for having a small dick during a damn hurricane! It's cold man, some shrinkage may occur! Also, I can't blame the guy. Sometimes I go places with my penis hanging out... Wal-Mart and such... By the way this video aired live on The Weather Channel and this is by far the most exciting thing to ever happen to The Weather Channel, fucking ever! "Hey Bob, how bad was that hurricane?" "Man, it was really bad, I got hit in the head with a dick!" Cool Transition Now this last video is our biggest getting - almost - a million views in 4 days. Now I don't normally review like celebrity driven videos just because they get enough attention, but this particular one is... its special. So Jim Carrey - famous actor comedian Jim Carrey makes this weird like video, just all of a sudden, like just puts out a fucking video confessing his love for Emma Stone. :plays You know when I first saw this is was confused, I was like: What? Jim Carrey wants to fuck that girl from Harry Potter? No no no, turns out it wasn't her it was Emma Stone. Now why does it surprise anyone that Jim Carrey wants to get a little easy A from Emma Stone? Who wouldn't hump Emma Stone? The goddamn Pope want's to hump Emma Stone! Look at her! But what I don't know is what he made this creepy video all staring into the camera like he's some kind of registered sex offender? I mean Jim Carrey doesn't have a problem with women. If you're Jim Carrey you have one pickup line, one. You're Jim Carrey you walk up to women and you go: "Hi ladies, I don't know if you've noticed but I'm Jim motherfucking Carrey!" And then they immediately start felating him... I would. And you know it's a bullshit cause I made a video exactly like this like three months ago confessing my love for Ellen Page, and the bitch files a restraining order. Now people are quick to tell me that Jim Carrey was just joking here... Now here we are here... I think he is joking but he's also not. I mean I think it's one of those things where you're like: "Oh-ho no! I was just kidding Emma Stone! But you know, if you're, if you're down, you know laughs we can do it." Don't get me wrong I love Jim Carry, I love his work and I think we should all follow his lead, we should all make videos just confessing our love to our celebrity crush! "Danny Devito, I would marry you, and we would have short, fat, disgustingly hideous children... and the sex?" Tell me you wouldn't fuck Danny Devito! Tell me you wouldn't fuck Danny Devito!!! You're lying, you're lying! If you saw Danny Devito in the street, you would run at him with your junk out like: :plays But you know what isn't - so small? The Comment Question of the Day which comes froma user named BAM! and she said: Hi Ray, my Comment Question of the Day is, who's your favorite superhero? Soo, who is your favorite superhero? Leave your interesting or creative responses in the comments section below or on Facebook, Twiiter or Google Plus - or just leave your fucking answers anywhere, leave them under my doorstep I don't give a shit! Cool Transition But thanks for watching today's episode of Equals Three, I'm Ray William Johnson and I approve this message. So tell me guys, what's your hurricane name? Comment Questions Submitted Responded Outtakes Such a dick. message sounds Sorry Brandon I'm getting some - shitload of text, alright damnit stop texting me. People have no respect. laughs vibrates No they're my friends so of course they don't have any respect. Man you can't hate on a guy for having a small dick. Fuck. And then you insert the - small dick. Urgh. Small Dick. Damnit Brandon I fucked a line. Alright let me do try it again. For Ellen Page - small dick - laughs that's it! Credits Characters Featured :No returning characters were portrayed in this episode. Video thumb|660px|left